Impossible Desires
by Jasper'sBaltimoreBabe
Summary: Merlin is attracted to Arthur, though he knows they can never be. Does Arthur feel the same? Will the truth ever be revealed? Three-shot. My first attempt at slash, no flames please.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I've recently become obsessed with Merthur. I think it's probably the best pairing ever created. So I decided to try my hand at it, and this is what I came up with. I'm sorry if this is terrible. I've never written slash before.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. *sigh***

"Now, Merlin, after you muck out my horse's stall, I want you to clean my room and draw a bath for me," Arthur ordered his manservant as he prepared for his daily training session with his knights.

"Yes, sire," Merlin answered automatically, helping Arthur on with his armor. Once he had handed Arthur's sword to him, Arthur stood there, lost in thought.

"What there something else you wanted, sire?" Merlin asked, begging the answer to be "no."

"Oh, uh, no. That's all. And if you're not finished by the time I get back, you'll spend tomorrow in the stocks." Arthur smirked, and walked out of the room.

Merlin sighed. The last thing he wanted was to have rotten vegetables pelted at him. Again. So Merlin set out to the stables, and once again his thoughts turned to Arthur. He knew it was wrong for him to think of the prince of Camelot like this, but he couldn't help it. Ever since his first encounter with the prat (or at least it was when the words "Can you walk on your knees?" left the Prince's mouth) that Merlin became undeniably attracted to him. Arthur was, first and foremost, very handsome, with his muscular build, charming smile, golden hair, and sparkling blue eyes. He was the envy of every man and every woman in the kingdom longed to be his. As did Merlin. No matter how many times he was insulted by the Prince he still wanted those insulting lips to be on his. He wanted to drown in the depths of Arthur's blue eyes, he wanted his name to fall from Arthur's mouth, for his hands to be tangled in Arthur's hair…

But it would never be more than a beautiful fantasy. Arthur was Prince of Camelot, and was expected to marry a woman of his status, not his lowly manservant, not to mention that Arthur was still unaware of his servant's magical abilities, thus saving Merlin from an untimely death. And with the stolen looks he saw between Arthur and Gwen, Merlin knew there was no way that he would return the young warlock's feelings.

Merlin quickly finished his chores, not because of his desire to avoid the stocks, but to avoid angering his Prince.

"Well, Merlin, for once you've actually done as I've asked," Arthur said as he walked back into his chambers.

"I tend to do that a lot," Merlin replied defensively, and with a raised eyebrow from Arthur, added, "Sometimes."

Arthur laughed. "You really are amazing, Merlin."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat before he quashed that feeling. Arthur didn't mean it the way Merlin wished he did.

"Is something wrong, Merlin?" Arthur asked, taking note of his servant's furrowed brow.

"No, sire," Merlin answered.

"You know, you're an incredibly bad liar, Merlin," Arthur said. "What's on your mind?"

"Uh, nothing," he replied, "Um…Gaius asked me to run an errand earlier today, and I still need to do that…"

"Well, you may." Arthur gestured towards the door.

"Thank you, sire," Merlin said, and rushed out of the room, leaving a very confused and slightly concerned Arthur behind.

**A/N: Reviews are welcomed! I would love your feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter gives you Arthur's thoughts. I know it starts the same as Chap 1, but keep reading; it is different.**

**Still don't own Merlin.**

"Now, Merlin, after you muck out my horse's stall, I want you to clean my room and draw a bath for me," Arthur ordered Merlin, having become used to the ritual every day.

"Yes, sire," Merlin answered, and he helped Arthur on with his armor. Normally, Arthur would be thinking about what routines he would have his knights go through, but not anymore. Now he could only think of Merlin. How his raven-black hair was always mussed, how his face turned serious as he was making sure not to forget any of his sire's armor. How his fingers nimbly fastened the armor on Arthur…

"What there something else you wanted, sire?" Merlin asked, and it was then that Arthur was snapped out of his thoughts, discovering he was holding his sword.

"Oh, uh, no. That's all. And if you're not finished by the time I get back, you'll spend tomorrow in the stocks," Arthur said and gave Merlin a smirk for good measure. He knew the last thing Merlin would want was another day spent having vegetables thrown at him.

As he made his way down to where his knights would be waiting for him, he let his thoughts turn back to Merlin. His clumsy, incompetent, incorrigible manservant. He never did what Arthur told him, and always talked back to the Prince. But that was one of the things Arthur loved most about Merlin- he wasn't like everyone else; he didn't humble himself before the once and future King of Camelot. He constantly challenged him, insulted him, and put Arthur back in his place when he was being his arrogant self. Merlin was his better half, the sweet, kind, goofy half. He may have been clumsy, but he saved Arthur's life once, and Arthur will forever be grateful for that, not only for the obvious reason of his still being alive, but Uther rewarded Merlin by letting him be Arthur's servant.

But he and Merlin could only ever be friends, _if _they could be even that. Arthur would be king one day, and he would need to have an heir. And he didn't want people to think he took advantage of his servants; that would not only hurt him, but it would hurt Merlin, as well. No matter how much he longed to tell Merlin his feelings, he couldn't. Doing that would jeopardize their friendship, since there was no way Merlin could feel the same.

So Arthur went on with his day, training with his knights, and praying that just once Merlin would finish his chores so Arthur wouldn't be obliged to put him in the stocks…

When Arthur returned to his room, he was shocked that Merlin had actually finished his chores. "Well, Merlin, for once you've actually done as I've asked," Arthur said.

"I tend to do that a lot," Merlin replied defensively.

Arthur raised his eyebrow.

"Sometimes," Merlin added.

Arthur laughed at his ridiculous servant. "You really are amazing, Merlin."

And he was. He may have been pale and skinny, but he had the most amazing cheekbones and gorgeous blue-grey eyes. Not to mention he was the most loyal friend Arthur had ever had. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the suddenly serious look on Merlin's face.

"Is something wrong, Merlin?"

"No, sire," Merlin answered.

"You know, you're an incredibly bad liar, Merlin," Arthur said. "What's on your mind?"

_You can trust me._

"Uh, nothing," Merlin replied quickly, "Um…Gaius asked me to run an errand earlier today, and I still need to do that…"

"Well, you may." Arthur gestured towards the door. He wouldn't keep Merlin from leaving.

"Thank you, sire," Merlin said, and rushed out of the room, the door closing behind him with a slight _bang._

Arthur shook his head and stepped into the tub. Something had Merlin upset, and Merlin didn't feel like he could talk to him. Arthur felt hurt. It was then he decided that something must be done about his feelings towards Merlin.

He would tell him. Tonight. If he got rejected, then so be it. At least it would let Merlin know he could trust Arthur with _anything_.

**A/N: Please review! I'll try to get the last chapter finished ASAP! Not sure if Merlin shoul tell Arthur about his magic...Any thoughts, anyone?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So here is the final chapter! I tried to make it as long as possible, to those of you who wanted a longer chap! ;) Enjoy!**

That night when Merlin brought Arthur his dinner, the Prince would tell his servant his feelings for him. As much as he wanted to shout, "I love you!" the moment Merlin appeared in the doorway, Arthur thought that might scare Merlin off…So he decided to wait a little bit before telling him.

As he ate his dinner, he was surprised at Merlin's silence as his servant straightened up his room. Usually he had something to say, whether it was calling him a prat or just one of his usual ramblings, but not tonight.

"You're unusually quiet, Merlin. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, sire."

_Liar. _"Merlin, you're thinking about something, and we all know that nothing good ever comes from that." Arthur smiled.

The corners of Merlin's mouth perked up a little, but he kept silent.

"What's wrong?" Arthur persisted.

Merlin gave a quiet sigh, but kept his back turned to Arthur as he folded some clothes. "It's nothing you would be interested in."

_If it has to do you with you, I'm always interested. _"I may be a prince, Merlin, and you my servant, but I like to think of us as friends."

For the first time that evening Merlin looked at Arthur, their eyes meeting. "Really?" he asked, a little hopefully, Arthur noted.

"Yes. You may be the worst manservant I've ever had, but you're also my closest friend." Wow, did he just admit that?

"Well, sire, I have something to confess…"

Merlin couldn't believe what he was doing. Was he really going to confess his love for Arthur? He had to. It was killing him to keep it secret.

Arthur gestured to the seat across from him. Merlin immediately sat down.

"What do you have to confess?"

Merlin opened and closed his mouth several times, not quite able to get the words out. Finally, he sighed, closed his eyes, and said, "I'minlovewithyou."

Merlin braced himself for the rejection, and began to consider what other jobs he could get since Arthur was going to sack him, probably after hitting him.

Instead, he felt a warm hand gently forcing his head up. "Look at me, Merlin."

Against his better judgment, Merlin opened his eyes and saw two pools of the clearest blue looking at him.

"Do you mean it, Merlin?" Arthur had come to stand next to Merlin.

"Yes," Merlin answered quickly. And to his great surprise, Arthur's lips were suddenly on his. How he dreamed about this moment for months! But his dreams could never compare to the real thing. Arthur's lips were warm, soft, and Merlin wrapped his arms around the Prince's neck, pulling him closer. He was so caught up in the moment that it didn't register in his mind that his magic had flared up, and now several objects where spinning around the room. Arthur's sudden gasp and the absence of his lips pulled Merlin back to reality and the objects abruptly hit the floor.

"What- How- What-?" Arthur sputtered.

_Oh, god. Oh, no._ Just when Merlin thought he had found happiness, all hell had to break loose.

"Answer me right now, Merlin!" Arthur shouted at him, having jumped a few feet back. "Did you just do that?"

Arthur watched as Merlin stood up and hung his head. "Yes, sire."

"You're a sorcerer? You?" Arthur asked, totally shocked. How could Merlin, _his_ Merlin, be a sorcerer?

"Yes, Arthur," Merlin answered, his voice void of all emotion.

"Why, Merlin? Magic is-"

Merlin didn't let him finish. "I was born like this, Arthur! I didn't choose magic. It chose me!"

Arthur didn't know what to say, and he was suddenly filled with regret as he saw the tears streaming down Merlin's face.

"You're going to have me executed, aren't you?"

His defeated tone went right through Arthur's heart. They both knew the laws of Camelot- anyone guilty of using magic would be sentenced to death. But Arthur couldn't bear the thought of his Merlin dying, not when he could protect him.

"No, Merlin. You won't be executed. I won't allow it."

Merlin looked at him. "Why not? I'm just a servant. What do I mean to you?"

"You mean everything to me!" In two strides Arthur was standing in front of Merlin, his hands on the boy's shoulders. "I just told you that you're my friend, Merlin, and for god's sake, I just kissed you! Doesn't that tell you something?"

Merlin stood before him, speechless. He wasn't going to die?

Arthur looked imploringly into his eyes. "I love you, Merlin. I don't care that you can do magic, or that you're totally useless on hunting trips, or that you lack all common sense. I love you."

Merlin smiled. "I love you, too, Arthur, although you're a prat."

Arthur laughed and ruffled Merlin's hair before wiping the tears from his servant's face. "There aren't any more secrets, are there?" he asked.

Merlin shook his head, relishing the feel of Arthur's fingers. "Nope. Except-"

"Oh, god, what else?" Arthur asked exasperatedly.

Merlin rolled his eyes at the Prince. "I'm not as useless as you think. I've saved you life."

"I know that," Arthur said. "When you first came to Camelot you saved me from that witch."

"Well, that's not the only time…"

"What other times have their been?" Arthur asked, shocked.

And for the next hour Merlin recounted the dozens of times he had saved Arthur's neck, all the while being wrapped in Arthur's arms, and not once did Arthur interrupt him.

When Merlin was done, Arthur kissed him affectionately.

"So you're not a complete buffoon like everyone thinks? I'm amazed."

"And you're still the total prat you always are." Before Arthur could object, Merlin pulled him into another kiss, silencing him.

"I owe you my life, Merlin. Whatever you want is yours."

Merlin looked into those eyes and shook his head. "I just want you, Arthur."

"Well, that can be arranged," Arthur answered with a smirk, and they both became lost in their little piece of heaven, completely oblivious to the objects flying around them…

**The End**

**A/N: Special thanks to cocobeforechanel for the idea of flying objects! I thought it was the perfect idea! *virtual hug* Please review! :D  
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